“I have to leave for France.”

“Why?”

“You are flying to your country soon anyway,” she said, with her silken accent.

I couldn’t find a word.

I lit my cigarette and took a drag. Something started gleaming down her cheek in the darkness of the room. There was silence, a rather profound silence. Outside, Auckland was still pouring with rain.

The waning moon was probably laughing at me. I always love silence, but now I felt like an awkward idiot trying to chase it out.

I used to despise people who cannot stand silence even for one minute. You know, those people who come to your cubicle every now and then, who try to come up with a new topic when the conversation grinds to a halt, who play music or whistle when they are alone by themselves.

But now I was one of those people, and I hated every second of it. I wanted to just grab my coat and take a walk round the city streets even though—or especially because—it rained outside. I wanted to pick my guitar and play whatever damn song crossed my mind. I wanted to pour a glass of whisky and offer it to her, just to see her shakes her head.

I took the last drag out of my cigarette, and there was still silence. The silence which will soon be gone, like me.

From a rather old movie:

I find I’m so excited I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it’s the excitement only a free man can feel. A free man at the start of a long journey… whose conclusion is uncertain.

 

 

Legoksari, 19 Juni 2019

From an old children book:

 

 

Bekasi, 13 April 2019

From an old Manual:

 

B

Bodoh boleh baik, boleh jahat

Nakal harus pintar

Pintar sebaiknya nakal

Namun bijak mensyaratkan baik

dan berguna

 

Bandung, 3 Maret 2019

Seperti membaca sebuah buku

Lalu tiba di ujung halaman

Seperti lewat di jalan berliku

Dan tiba di akhir tikungan

 

Seperti sinema yang terlalu awal untuk habis

Seperti lagu yang belum sampai pada puncak

Seperti cerah pagi yang diganti gerimis

Seperti kuda yang tak lagi mau bergerak

 

Gambir, 16 Februari 2019