If ever anyone of you, dear courteous reader, wonder what is my religious view, I am going to briefly expound it in the next few humble paragraphs. I don’t intend to offend any beliefs and views, though.
I’ve just recently come across an interesting article by a gentleman named Robert Nielsen. It is a wonderfully structured piece of argumentative writing and I have to say, rationally speaking, I couldn’t agree more. Somehow, it reminded me of a period when I simply couldn’t accept God. The arguments presented in the article was almost exactly similar to my view, back then.
Back then, it was hard for me to reconcile the concept of God with the facts I observed in reality. I remember how, on one evening, I walked home from my campus and when I was strolling I happened to see an old man sleeping with just a piece of thin clothing on the pavement. Imagine, dear courteous reader, the absurdness of this situation if there was an all-loving and an omnipotent God! This problem, known popularly as the problem of evil, was the main reason why I became an Atheist—nay, a Nihilist.
Then came a period where the ship was jerking very badly. I’ve just woken up when the news came: my friend passed away at the age of 22. He was a very cheerful man and I must say he had a bright future ahead of him. I was shocked. I could not believe he’s gone, forever. Why does it have to be him? I mean, why that kind and bright man and not a more negative and despairing one? I don’t understand. And also, is that it? Is that what’s in store for any of those who die young? So what’s the point of living, then? Frankly, until now I haven’t found an answer. Maybe Mr. Nielsen is right, maybe it’s just random occurrence.
But something inside me was stirring at that moment. I tried to find God to find out whether or not there is a meaning in this Life. It was very hard, though. He was so subtle and elusive. I could not get an answer whether He exists or not until I reach a point where I decided there was no God, only random events. I concluded that religion is just how the cognitive-disabled people cope with hardships and monotony and whatnot. The intelligent ones should not ever believe in this.
Now, though, it’s a bit different. I don’t think it’s about intelligence—Mr. Pascal had his spiritual experience, and in case you’re wondering who the heck he is, he is one of the greatest geniuses ever. I cannot comprehend why I changed my view, to God be the praise, but I can assure you there was a small fraction of me that is very convinced that there exists a God. Call it delusion, but I’d like to humbly call it faith.
In memoriam Rudi Rauf.
Rest in peace, my friend.